Babysitting Blues and Late Night Shifts
by Nikkette
Summary: Modern AU. When Katniss is working a late shift at The Hob, she tries to keep it together when the store gets robbed and she has to deal with her overly emotional boss Peeta, leaving her best friend Johanna to babysit Rory and Prim longer than expected. It only gets worse when her husband Gale brings home an antique armoire filled with horrors. Galeniss with fun and chaos.
1. 10 Percent Discount

**A/N: Just a hilarious idea I got while watching one of my favorite tv shows. If you've never seen Malcolm in the Middle (or least, the episode Robbery) then you're in for a real treat.**

**Each chapter is less than two pages long for an easy read (Baked Potatoes is the longest chapter at 3 pages) with plenty of hilarity and chaos to ensure good laughs :)**

**This was originally going to be a reeeaaally long oneshot, but I decided to split it up into regular chapters. This story is already finished, so go ahead and review the chapters you like and fave if you can :)**

**Sasha, if you're reading this, I'm gonna have your Galehanna story up real soon :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

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1\. 10% Discount

Katniss Hawthorne sat boredly in the break room, drumming her fingers repeatedly along the cheap plastic surface of the bench at which she had seated herself.

It was another late shift at The Hob, and Katniss couldn't be more _thrilled_. Sarcastically, of course. She didn't want to be there. She wanted to be home, with her husband and sister and brother-in-law, _not_ at some shabby convenience store.

And not to mention the fact that the house would probably be a wreck by the time she got home. Gale was working late, too, and as a result, Katniss had to enlist the help of her best friend Johanna to babysit for Rory and Prim. It wasn't that she didn't_ trust_ Johanna, it was just...well, yeah, she didn't trust Johanna.

It was just that she could be such a kid - she knew for a _fact_ that Prim was more mature than her - but alas, given the circumstances, Katniss had no choice. And now, she was at work, Gale was just getting _off_ work, and Johanna was alone with their siblings at 7:30 in the evening...and the worry that thought suddenly emitted was startling.

Katniss sighed, pulling out her purse so she could dig out her cellphone.

Maybe if she texted Prim or Johanna she could go about the rest of her night feeling less-

"Hey, Katniss!"

-never mind.

Composing her face into an expression of cheer, Katniss looked up from her purse to find her co-worker staring happily down at her.

_Peeta._

"Hello, Peeta." She greeted, smiling as nicely as possible. _The way her mouth curled up felt so weird..._

"Notice anything different about me?" Peeta asked giddily.

She furrowed her brows. Peeta was _always_ happy (to the point where it was downright strange in her mind) but this was different. He was acting like a little kid who had just gotten an early Christmas gift. And it was September.

She looked him over. "Youuuu cut your hair?" She asked, completely lost.

Peeta smiled jokingly. "Oh, _Katniss_, don't be ridiculous. Look-" he paused to bring a presenting hand up to his chest, hovering over his name tag.

Katniss read it closely.

_Assistant Manager_.

"Yep," Peeta grinned, seeing her mouth fall open in realization. "Just got it in today; Peeta Mellark, Assistant Manager."

Katniss smiled at him, shocked. "Um..._wow_, congratulations, Peeta! That's...great!"

"Yep, and _with_ my new badge comes an extra 10% discount, which I'm _more_ than happy to share with you, of course."

She froze. "Oh...no. Peeta, that's _your_ discount, not mine. And, I wouldn't feel right about taking advantage of you like that."

Peeta's smile faltered for a split second, but didn't give up. "Oh no, it's okay. I'm happy to share it. I mean...I know how hard you work all the time, and...and I wanna help."

Seeing that her break was over, Katniss put her purse back beneath the table and stood up. She liked Peeta, she really did, but sometimes he was just...too pushy.

"...I just wouldn't feel good about it," She smiled.

Thinking that was that, she walked out of the break room and back out into the store to finish her shift.

"But what good is all that power if I don't have anyone to _share_ it with?" He called insistently from behind her, following her to her through the aisles.

Unfortunately, Peeta didn't seem to get the hint.

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, Katniss exhaled deeply as she stopped to round the corner of another aisle. Clove walked by.

"Oh, Clove," Peeta said, getting the short woman's attention. "Would you please check out aisle 10? Someone knocked over the DVD rack. Oh! And could you put the Tarty Smartys on a lower shelf? The kids keep trying to climb to get up to 'em and I'm afraid someone's gonna get hurt."

Clove shrugged. "Sure."

The brunette walked away, and Peeta turned to make sure she was gone before giving Katniss a strangely conspiratorial, strangely chipper look.

"Did you see that? Did you see the _resentment_ in her tone? Isn't it _great?_ Look, I'm shaking!"

He held out his arm to prove his point, the limb shaking with vigor to illustrate the unsteady hold he held on his new-found 'power'.

Trying to kill the urge to laugh, Katniss covered her mouth with the back of her hand and continued walking over to her register, Peeta following close behind.


	2. Something Wonderful

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

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2\. Something Wonderful

Johanna sighed, smirking at the sight before her.

"You know, I think this is my favorite part of the day," she said to herself. "_School's_ out, _parents_ aren't home...and _you_ guys are basically free to do what-_ever_ you want. In a sense, a time when kids can rule the Earth."

The short-haired woman stood, arms crossed, in the Hawthorne family kitchen, watching as Prim mewled happily as she duh into the double-fudge chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream she had giver her - right out of the_ carton_ \- and Rory proceeded to saw a book in half on the counter - using a handheld saw that Johanna had been kind enough to 'borrow' from Gale's tool belt.

Suddenly, the microwave went off.

Turning around, Johanna opened the microwave door and, taking an oven mitt, pulled out a now hardened glob of red and blue.

"Okay, _what_ is_ this?_" She asked, brows furrowed.

Rory paused to look at the object she was holding. "Well, it _was_ Superman."

Johanna blinked, trying to identify a resemblance to the super hero and the melted thing in her hand, and Rory went back to sawing his old school book.

Without warning the front door burst open, and that could only mean one thing.

Gale was home.

Scrambling to cover up their shenanigans, Prim wiped her face clear of ice cream and stuffed the carton back into the freezer, Rory threw half of his book into the trash and sat at the kitchen table to pretend and 'read' the other half, and Johanna threw the melted Superman back into the microwave and slammed the door, leaning back against the counter as they all tried to compose themselves.

Johanna glared at them, lips pursed, eyes wide.

"_Act. Casual_."

Gale suddenly appeared in the kitchen, a huge smile on his face as he ran up to them excitedly. "Kids, come quick! Something _wonderful_ has happened!"

He was gone before any of them could reply, and the trio exchanged odd looks as they reluctantly followed him outside.

* * *

They followed Gale out to the driveway, mouths falling open as they took in the reason for his excitement.

A large wooden armoire sat atop Gale's dull grey work van, secured with a ridiculous amount of synthetic ropes. Even in the evening light, it looked terrible.

Gale turned to them, smiling with mirth. "ain't she a beaut'? And to think someone would just _throw_ her _out!_ She was under six bags of garbage, but _ohh_, I knew Katniss would love it...When does she get home?"

Prim looked disapprovingly at the armoire. "She's working 'til _ten_..." she said warily.

Gale clapped his hands. "_Perfect!_ That gives me plenty of time to get it ready."

Johanna looked at the monstrosity strapped to the Hawthorne's van, a disgusted look on her face. "Gale, it's _junk_."

He waved a hand at her, his happiness refusing to die. "Johanna, _please._ With a little paint and some new hardware, one man's junk is another man's anniversary present. Come on, help me get it inside!"

Gale moved to untie the over sized cabinet from his van and Johanna exchanged glances with Prim and Rory, all three equally unsure if this was a good idea or not.


	3. Safe-ty

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

* * *

3\. Safe-ty

Katniss hummed quietly to herself as she cleaned off the counter to her register.

It was kind of annoying, having nothing to do but _clean_ when you're about to get off work, but she supposed it was better than dealing with some snobby customer. Tossing her rag into the trashcan tucked underneath the counter, she looked up to see two men, one blond and the other brunette, wearing identical hoodies walking towards her, both clearly unhappy.

_Speaking of snobby customers..._

The men stopped at her register, and Katniss stood there awkwardly when they didn't give her something to scan and put into a bag. Now that she noticed, they didn't seem to have anything in their hands to buy...

"Can I help you?" She asked, looking at them strangely.

The men exchanged looks. They were quite young, she realized; they looked no older than she, and she was only twenty-one.

One of them pulled a gun out from their jacket. "Gimme your money."

Katniss' eyes widened.

"For crying out _loud_, _again?!_" She hissed, and he shoved his gun in her face.

"Shut up and hand it over." The second one ordered, and she put a hand up to calm him.

"_Relax_, buddy. We have a way of doing things here where no one gets hurt: _I'll_ give you every bit of cash in this drawer, and _you_ and your friend _leave_. Okay?"

The two men glanced at each other once again, and the second one - the one who clearly wasn't in charge - nodded stupidly. Obviously, they didn't expect it to go over this well.

"...Yeah. Okay."

Taking a breath to calm herself, Katniss turned and opened her register, taking out the earnings for the day and handing it to the men in small stacks.

And just then, Peeta decided to walk up.

"Katniss! I think Glimmer flipped me off behind my back!" He said, happily paranoid that everyone was jealous of his new position.

Katniss looked over at him, wide-eyed, as she tried to think of a way to get him away from her. Now was_ not_ the time.

"Uh, Peeta, I'm...I'm with some_ customers_ right now, so..."

Hoping he got the hint, she handed the two men the rest of the money from the register.

"Thank you for shopping at The Hob, _bye now!_" She said quickly, plastering a fake smile onto her face as she shooed them out.

Satisfied, they shoved the money into their pockets, the blond leader putting his gun back into his jacket as the brown-haired one began to follow him out of the store.

Katniss began to breath a sigh of relief as she watched them go, only to have her lungs seize up again as she watched, helpless, as Peeta skipped up to them.

Oh, _great..._

"Did you enjoy your Hob shopping experience, gentlemen?" Peeta asked sweetly, and as the men turned around Katniss' heart leapt in fear and annoyance.

She had to stop this.

"Uh, Peeta, they're in a _hurry_, so-"

"Oh, don't worry, this'll only take a second."

Crap.

"Hi, I'm Peeta, the Assistant Manager, and I can assure you, if there's one thing we value_ most_ here at The Hob, it's_ customer satisfaction_-"

"We're satisfied," The blond one said curtly, stepping past him.

Peeta sidestepped him, oblivious to the danger he was in. "Really? Because you don't_ sound_ like it."

Katniss gripped the edge of the counter in suspense, unbelieving of the sheer ignorance her coworker was currently displaying.

Peeta went on. "Now, please, if there's something I can do - _anything!_ \- that will make this a better experience for you, just shoot."

_Talk about poor choice of words._

She rolled her eyes at his stupidity.

Having had enough of his cheeriness, the leader of the two delinquents, the blond, smiled at the Assistant Manager in false sweetness. "Yeah, there _is_ something you can do, actually." He unzipped his jacket, pulling out his gun and pointing it at a now unsmiling Peeta. "You can walk me to every other register _in_ this place and give me every cent you've _got_."

The once chipper blond squeaked in horror, hands flying above his head as his eyes widened in fear. Having seen enough, Katniss moved from behind the counter and ran to Peeta's side, latching onto his arm and flinching when the gun was pointed at her.

"Everyone calm _down_," she said, turning to talk some sense into Peeta. "I've been through this five times, I _know_ what to do. We just _give_ them the money from the other registers and they'll_ leave_."

"But what about the safe?"

_Dammit, _Peeta.

The men looked at each other.

"_Safe?_"

Realizing his blunder a little too late, Peeta tried to cover it up.

"..._Ty_. Safe-_ty_ of the customers, haha!"

The leader lowered his gun and, roughly grabbing his partner's shoulder, pulled him aside to discuss the situation.

"I'll lock the doors, you start rounding up the customers," he said, and the other man looked at him as though he were crazy.

"What are you,_ nuts?!_ We gotta get _outta_ here, Cato!"

Cato rolled his eyes. "Come _on_, Marvel. I'm _tired_ of doing these dink little _holdups_. Haven't you ever wanted to do something _more_ with your life?"

Marvel thought for a moment. "...What, you mean like _college?_"

"No, you _idiot!_ I mean like breaking into a _safe!_"

Pausing to pinch the bridge of his nose, Cato tried a different tactic to sway his friend. "_Look,_ man, do you wanna work at '_FroYo Delights'_ with _Effie_ forever?"

That apparently got him thinking.

Pulling out a gun of his own, Marvel fired a shot into the ceiling.

"ALRIGHT!" He yelled to the now panicked customers. "EVERYBODY OVER TO THE DELI!"

Marvel proceeded to gather up the remaining customers and workers, and Cato kept his gun trained on the chipper blond and the sour brunette.

Peeta spared a glance at Katniss.

She glared at him.


	4. Black Bow Ties

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

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4\. Black Bow Ties

Prim placed Rory's skateboard on the concrete floor of the driveway as Gale, Rory, and Johanna set the antique armoire steadily onto it.

It was a wonder the thing didn't break under the weight, but at least it would be easier to move now.

"Whew! Great job, guys," Gale said. "Prim, could you please open the side doors to the house so we can get this thing in there?"

Nodding, Prim skipped along the driveway and over to the far side of the house, opening the double-doors of the patio that led into the living room. Holding onto the edges of the armoire, Gale and Johanna rolled it along the required distance as Rory stayed near the front to help steer.

When they finally got to the entrance of their home, the three of them attempted to properly position the antique so that it would fit between the walls that separated the living room from the porch.

"Easy," Gale said as they began to roll it into the house.

A crash was heard from inside as they accidentally knocked over a lamp.

"Easy."

They rolled it back and tried again, only to crash it into a wall.

"_Easy_..."

Reeling back once more, they decided to simply rush it through as quickly as possible and hope that they didn't screw up anything else. The armoire went through the doorway just fine, but Gale and Johanna lost grip of its end and the giant antique rolled straight into the living room table before crashing and falling over, just barely missing Prim before she was crushed beneath its weight.

Gale clapped excitedly. "Woo! Your sister's gonna_ flip_ when she sees this!"

Walking around to the front of the armoire, he bent down and grabbed hold of the handles, tugging on them vigorously when they wouldn't budge.

"Ah-_ha!_"

Prim trotted over beside Gale as he opened it up with one last tug, Johanna and Rory moving to join her. They crowded around the armoire's entrance, peering curiously inside.

Gale furrowed his eyebrows. "Well _that's_ weird," he said. "Why would someone fill an _armoire_ with hundreds of hanging black_ bow ties?_"

Prim leaned in to get a better look, her own eyebrows furrowed as well. "Those aren't _bow ties_..." she said, eyes slowly widening in fear. "Those are _bats_..."

The four of them sat there in front of the armoire, silently taking in Prim's words as-

Countless bats suddenly flew out of the enclosed space all at once, and everyone (Gale included) screamed at the top of their lungs as the dirty brown animals fluttered past them before scrambling back and running for cover, knocking plenty of things over in the process.


	5. Emergencies Only

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

* * *

5\. Emergencies Only

Cato and Marvel gathered up the remaining customers and workers of The Hob while Peeta and Katniss stayed by Katniss' register, Peeta repeatedly hitting the emergency button underneath the counter.

"Don't worry, Katniss, everything's gonna be_ just_ fine. Just fine and _dandy.._."

He glared bravely at Cato while his back was turned. "Yeah, keep waving that gun around, _buddy_. You've got a _big surprise_ comin'..."

Katniss sighed. "Peeta, that button's been disconnected for over a _year_."

Peeta looked to her, panicked. "What?! _Why?!_"

"Because _you_ kept _hitting_ the darn thing!" She hissed.

"In an emergency, yeah, that's what it's _for-_"

"Oh, you mean like the emergency when you saw a _bee?_ Or when you saw a giant fly that _looked_ like a bee? What about when you thought you saw a _ghost?!_"

"Look, I'm not saying that it_ was,_ or it _wasn't_, but you can't tell me that what we saw was _normal!_" He argued, huffing indignantly.

Katniss threw her hands up. "My _God,_ Peeta! Didn't you get the _hint_ that something was _wrong?_ That I was in _danger?_ That we were_ all_ in danger?!"

"Well it's not like you told me 'hey! These guys are thieves and they're trying to rob me!'" Peeta defended, smiling mockingly as he flitted his arms about.

"Well _gee_, I don't_ know_, Peeta. Maybe I didn't _say_ anything because they had a_ gun_ in my face?! What did you _think_ I was doing when you saw me handing them all the money from the cash register?!"

"I thought you were giving_ change!_" He exclaimed in a harsh whisper, as though it were an obvious mistake.

"In ones, fives, tens, _and_ twenties?!"

"...Well, they could have just used a hundred..." He argued weakly, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

_"UGH!"_

Just then, Marvel came walking back up to them. "Alright, _you_ two! _Move_ it, let's go!"

Katniss hesitantly moved from behind the register as Peeta timidly followed.

"Walk me to the safe," he ordered, pointing his gun at them as they began to walk in front of him.

Peeta tugged sharply on Katniss' work vest. "If he keeps waving that thing around like that this is gonna end up in _body bags!_" He exclaimed in a whisper.

Katniss wrenched his hand off her. "_No_, Peeta, it _isn't!_ Just _do_ what they say and this'll _all_ be over _soon_..."

_She hoped._

They walked in silence for a while after that, and she was thankful for the quiet, but Peeta was never able to keep his mouth shut for long.

"...Katniss. Before we die, I have to tell you something...it's about how I feel-"

"Peeta, no."

"...But Katniss-"

"Peeta, _no!_ This will go off without a hitch, and everything will be _fine_. _Stop_ talking about _death!_"

Peeta silenced after her hushed outburst, and they continued walking to the back of the store, Marvel close behind.


	6. Rats With Radar

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

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6\. Rats With Radar

"_How_ much?!" Gale yelled into the phone.

After realizing the armoire was filled with hundreds of pint-sized_ monstrosities_, the four residents of the Hawthorne household had regrouped in the kitchen, and were all currently huddled uncomfortably together beneath the dining table as Gale spoke on his cellphone.

"Well, can you _guarantee_ that you'll _get_ them all? ...What? That's_ per bat?!_ Are you_ insane?!_"

Jerking his phone away from his ear, Gale angrily pushed the End Call button. He sighed, and glanced on either side of him before announcing the bad news.

"Well, guys...it looks like we're on our own."

"_What?!_" Johanna shrieked. "What are you _talking_ about?! Isn't anyone _coming?_"

"I'm scared..." Prim said, and Gale reached over to hug her to his side.

"Aw, I know, Prim," he kissed her forehead comfortingly. "Look, guys, just think of it this way: they're _only_ rats with wings." He added lamely, "...and radar."

Seeing that his statement hadn't really done anything to help calm them down, he tried again.

"Say it with me, guys: flying..."

"Rats with radar," the three of them chimed in uncertainly.

Gale smiled. "Great, again: flying rats with-"

A stray bat flew beneath the table.

"AHH!"


	7. Combination, Please

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

* * *

7\. Combination, Please

Cato and Marvel fiddled with the store safe, leaving Katniss, Peeta and the rest of the customers and workers alone in the other room.

Seeing that they were occupied, Katniss attempted to calm everyone down. "Okay, it's important that everyone just _stay_. _Calm_."

Peeta was at her side in a second, and she knew in the back of her mind that this wouldn't end well.

"And _don't_ make any sudden moves, or they'll kill you." The Assistant Manager so _helpfully_ supplied, and she resisted rolling her eyes.

The hostages shifted uneasily, but nodded in agreement nonetheless. Peeta continued.

"And _don't_ look them in the eyes, or they'll _kill_ you...and whatever you do, _don't_ beg them not to kill you...or they'll _kill_ you!-"

Katniss grabbed Peeta roughly by the shoulder and pulled him to the other side of the room, away from the others.

"Okay, I need you to stop talking." She said curtly, but before she could say anything else, Marvel walked in.

"_You!_" He yelled, pointing his gun at Peeta. "Assistant Manager! Come 'ere!"

Peeta panicked, looking to Katniss. "This is it...I forgot to feed my dog. Funny, the things you remember right before you die..."

"Peeta, you're being _ridiculous!_ They just want to _talk_ to you!" Katniss hissed at him, urging him to join Marvel before he lost his temper and things _really_ got out of hand.

Nodding, Peeta began walking towards the armed teen, turning around at the last second to join her side again.

"Katniss, before we're all killed in a bloody massacre, I have to tell you-"

"_Shhh!_" Katniss shushed him, walking over and grabbing his arm. "Don't even _think_ like that! Just_ give_ them the money and _get_. _Them_. _Out, of, here_."

She walked him over to Marvel and Cato, who had just walked in to check on how things were going.

"Can we speed this along, please?" She asked, and Cato nodded.

"Yeah. Just give us the combination to the safe and we'll be out of your way," he said smartly.

Ignoring the urge to slap the utter _shit _out of him for that cheeky remark, Katniss turned to Peeta, shoving him in front of her. "Fine._ I_ can't give you the combo, but the Assistant Manager sure can! Peeta, give them the combination to the safe."

Peeta stepped forward, struggling to open his mouth. Freezing momentarily, he suddenly stood tall, feeling brave at the very last second.

"..._No._"

Katniss' eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"WHAT?!" She and the robbers exclaimed simultaneously, all three of them shocked.

"You can't have it." Peeta declared boldly, standing his ground.

"_Yes,_ they _can!_ Peeta, _give_ them the combination!" Katniss shrieked.

_Did he_ want_ to die?_

Cato tapped Marvel on the shoulder. "Here, lemme talk to 'em." He stepped in front of his partner and pulled out his gun, cocking it as he aimed it at Peeta.

"Now; _What's. The. Combo?_" He asked coldly, all business.

A beat passed and Peeta fell silent, and Katniss could tell something was wrong.

"...Peeta? Peeta, are you okay-"

But she didn't get to finish her sentence. Suddenly and without warning Peeta fainted and fell backwards, landing on her and taking her to the floor with him.

This was _not_ turning out to be a very good night.


	8. Military Tactics

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

* * *

8\. Military Tactics

Rory and Johanna opened the double doors leading back into the dark house, cautiously crawling inside on their knees.

After realizing that help wasn't coming, they had all ran out of the house. They hung out in Gale's van and mulled over what to do next, and Gale decided they should fight. So, heading into the garage, they suited up in protective gear and armed themselves with weapons - in this case, knee pads, elbow pads, and helmets, along with hockey sticks, Nerf guns, and blow-up baseball bats (and on Gale's part, military face paint).

Seeing everything was clear, Johanna looked back and nodded at the rest of the group, silently giving her consent to re-enter their home. Squatting, Gale scurried in front of her and over to the armoire that sat open on the living room floor. It was pitch black in the house, but they were all too afraid to turn on the lights.

Switching on his flashlight, he quickly stood up on his knees and swiftly shone the light into the large wardrobe, the other three waiting in suspense by the doorway a mere five feet away.

Finding no trace of the flying menaces, he got back down on all fours and moved forward, Johanna and the kids following close behind. Keeping low to the ground, Gale suddenly stopped, holding up a fist to signal they halt.

Turning around to face them, he looked seriously at the three of them and proceeded to make a series of faux military hand signs, of which the others had little to no clue about.

"..._What?_" Johanna hissed, just as confused as Rory and Prim.

Rolling his eyes, Gale simply gave them a thumbs up before jerking his head in the direction of the bedrooms. He continued to crouch-walk, and the other three followed close, afraid of being left behind.

Bats were flying everywhere, and they all instinctively huddled closer to each other, keeping low to the floor. Gale paused by the kitchen counter, glancing around the corner before twisting around to look at them.

"Okay,_ look_," he said seriously. "We've got a_ straight_ shot to the bedrooms. I say we split up into teams and search through the house. If we're gonna get these little _buggers_ out of here, we need to know where they are first. Johanna, you're with Rory-"

"Aw, _man_..." Rory whined.

"_I'll_ check the closets and laundry room-"

"Pfft. _Please_. You're giving yourself all the easy work!" Johanna accused, whispering.

"I don't wanna be _alone_..." Prim said timidly as she gripped her plastic baseball bat.

Gale briefly ran his palms over his face in frustration before finally jerking his head back up and making a chopping motion with his hands.

"Okay, _fine_. Prim, _you_ go with Rory and Johanna and check out the bedrooms. _I'll_ make sure they're not in the closets, basement, or laundry room. Got it?"

They silently nodded their approval.

"Good. Now let's go."

They broke off into their designated groups, and Johanna turned to put Rory in the lead.

"_You_ go in front," she ordered, and he looked back at her with a hanging jaw.

"_What?!_"

"It's _your_ house. And besides, Prim's scared." She reasoned.

Rory grumbled, "_Fine..._" and took the lead.

As he led the way to Prim's bedroom, Johanna purposely fell behind, a devious smirk on her lips.

* * *

Rory and Prim cautiously peered around the corner to Prim's room, reluctant to go inside.

"Turn on the light," Rory instructed, and Prim stretched her hand out the turn on the lamp that sat on the dresser just beside her door.

A gentle, dim light flooded the room, and instantly the two tweens felt relief flood over them as they saw there was nothing there. Nothing flying around, at least. Feeling much braver, Rory stood up and entered the room, Prim clinging to him with one arm as she held her weapon tightly in the other.

"Look out!"

They both whirled around at the sound of Johanna's voice, just in time to see a flash of black as a bat flew into Rory.

Screaming like a girl, he shrieked in panic as he dropped his hockey stick and swatted pathetically at the black thing on his shirt, gradually stopping when he heard Johanna's uncontrollable laughter.

"You _idiot!_ It's just Katniss' bra! Haha!" She laughed out, clutching her sides.

Face growing red with embarrassment, Rory hurriedly swatted the object off of him, jumping away from it as both he and Prim stared at it disgustedly. He picked his hockey stick back up and huffed indignantly as Johanna continued to giggle.

Heart rate returning to normal, the young Hawthorne angrily looked back up at his babysitter, expression suddenly changing to fear as he stared at the thing resting happily on Johanna's right shoulder. She stared strangely at their silence.

"...What?" She asked.

Not bothering to give a reply, Rory and Prim lunged at her.

Sticks and bats held high, they unloaded on the older woman with everything they had, fully prepared to beat the life out of her if it meant killing that bat.

Suddenly Prim stopped, realizing the winged creature was dead, as Rory continued to beat Johanna to the floor.

"Ow! Ow! _Ow!_"

"Rory, stop, it's dead."

"_Ow! Ow! OW!_"

"...Rory, it's dead! ..._Rory!_"

But he didn't listen.

Rory continued to beat his babysitter into submission for embarrassing him in front of Prim.


	9. Five Minutes

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

* * *

9\. Five Minutes

Peeta breathed in and out slowly and harshly from his place on the floor as Katniss crouched beside him and held a paper bag up to his mouth to keep him from hyperventilating.

They were in the safe room with Cato and Marvel, away from the other hostages, and Peeta inwardly panicked when Marvel crouched beside him with an ice pack.

Holding it up to his forehead, he asked, "Feel better?"

Thinking about it for a moment, Peeta nodded. "Yeah...yeah, I think so. Thanks."

The brunette teen nodded. "Oh. Well that's good...now _tell me the combination!_"

"_No!_" Peeta yelled, and the other man raised his gun to pistol whip him in frustration.

Dropping the paper bag, Katniss' arms flew out and stopped him, smiling in false sweetness when he looked at her, shocked.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" She asked sweetly.

Marvel froze momentarily before nodding, and she joined him to get up and stand at the other side of the room. Cato walked over to join them.

"_Look_," She said, trying to level with them. "_I_ want to get this over with just as much as you do. So please, _please_ just give me _five_ minutes alone with him? I can _guarantee_ you I'll get that combination."

She looked at them pleadingly, eyes resting on Cato's, who was slowly thinking it over. He nodded.

"Alright," he said, and she was already walking back over to Peeta.

"_Five minutes_," He reiterated, stressing her small time frame.

* * *

"Okay._ Listen_, Peeta," Katniss said hurriedly, holding Marvel's ice pack up to her friends's forehead. "These guys _really_ mean business. And you and I _both_ know there's less than $500 in that safe. Do you _really_ want to risk the lives of_ seven innocent_ employees and customers for less than_ $500?_"

Peeta exhaled, looking down at the floor. "Katniss, this isn't just about the money. Sometimes a man has to have his dignity, if nothing else. So _what_ if they kill me? At least then I'll have died a hero-"

"But they _will_ kill you, Peeta! That's what you don't understand! And before they do that, they're gonna try and get that combination from you any way they _can_...that's _torture_, Peeta."

When he didn't immediately reply, Katniss tried a different tactic. "Can you picture yourself with shattered _eye sockets?_ _Broken_ fingers? _Nose?_ Because that's where they're gonna start. Heck, they may even cut some of your fingers_ off! Or _your toes! Whichever comes first!_"_

She paused to look behind her at Marvel and Cato, who were both busy messing with the safe. "Did you see that hunting knife the short one's got on him?" She asked, jabbing a thumb behind her. "Do you _really_ want to feel it _slicing_ into your _flesh?_ _Separating_ your capillaries? _Scraping_ against your _bones-_ Peeta?"

But Peeta wasn't listening, because again, he had promptly passed out. She sighed.

She was never working another late shift _again._


	10. Baked Potatoes

**A/N: This is my favorite chapter XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

* * *

10\. Baked Potatoes

Gale and the rest of the group sat comfortably inside their tent, eating dinner.

After regrouping in the kitchen, Gale had informed them of the camping tent he had found in the basement, and, while Prim and Johanna kept bat-watch, he and Rory set it up in the living room. They had even reheated yesterday's leftovers before sealing themselves inside their enclosed little haven.

"Could you pass the salt, please?" Gale asked calmly as Prim handed him the little glass bottle he desired, careful not to bump the electronic lantern that hung from the ceiling of the tent.

He promptly showered his corn with the tiny grains before setting it back down for someone else to use. He silently thanked his wife for saving the peas, carrots, and corn they'd had the night before.

Rory took a happy bite of his carrots before opening his mouth to speak.

"So how long do we have to stay here?"

"Until all the bats are gone," Gale replied with confidence. "And with every window open in this house - it's only a matter of time."

Johanna paused her eating to look at him. "Can't_ new_ ones just fly _in?_" She asked in a 'you idiot' tone.

Gale didn't reply, instead deciding to ignore her as he racked his brain for another topic.

"...So. How was school, Prim?"

"Madge Undersee pushed me down," She replied simply, taking a spoonful of her peas.

"And did you push her back?"

"No. She's older than me."

Gale looked pointedly at his brother. "Mhm...Rory?"

Rory nodded, mouth full of food. "I'm on it."

They continued to eat in a comfortable silence, happy as could be under the refuge of their tent...until Johanna finally broke it, that is.

"This is _crazy!_ I can't _eat_ at a time like this!"

Gale looked at her, still chewing. "Is something bothering_ you_ at school, Jo'?"

She sneered at him, her silence clearly gesturing to the flying monsters outside.

"..._Oh._ Right..."

Rory swallowed loudly, looking down at his plate with an 'I-can't-eat-any-more-of-this' expression.

"Does anybody want my baked potato? Mine's kinda burnt."

Gale peered over at the plate being presented to him, flinching away from the overcooked morsel in disgust. "Ugh, no thanks."

Suddenly, a thought hit him.

"Rory, we aren't _having_ baked potatoes."

Suddenly they were all crowded around Rory's plate, closely scrutinizing the scorched black object.

It squeaked.

Screaming frantically, Rory dropped his plate and fought past the others to get out of the tent and the others followed suit, screeching and yelling and shrieking as they stumbled over one another to leave the confined space, the menacing shadow of the lone bat enlarged dramatically by the light of the lantern.

Thoroughly freaked out, the four of them simultaneously began kicking the tent, stomping it to the ground as they attempted to kill the flying rodent.

"Alright, _that's_ it! Let's just _leave!_ Katniss'll find us _somehow!_" Johanna shrieked in fear as they finished battering the $400 camping tent.

Prim and Rory looked up at her, feeling more and more agreeable with the idea.

"_No,_" Gale declared firmly, and they all turned their attention to him.

"I am _tired_ of running. I'm tired of _screaming_ like a _girl_ every _five_ _minutes_. I'm tired of living in _fear._ I will _not_ be put out of my own home by a bunch of airborne rodents, and _neither_ will you! I may have brought them into this house, but it's up to _all_ of us to bring them _out_. Get ready, people," he said, chuckling darkly as the others looked on, amazed.

"It's time to put out the_ bats_."

In the midst of his patriotic speech, a bat suddenly flew in between them and they screamed again, knocking over furniture and breaking glass as they panickedly swung at it with their sticks.

* * *

"So what are we going to do?" Prim sighed, hopeless.

Gale moved slightly to her left, though she couldn't really see in the cramped darkness of their supply closet.

"We're going to board up every window in this _house_," he said, serious. "We're going to get the _vacuum_, and we're going to blow these furry little _bastards_ to _Hell_-"

"_Gale!_" Johanna hissed, scolding his choice of language (though in the darkness she was smiling).

"Right," Rory and Prim said.

"Are we all in agreeance?" Gale asked.

"Aye," they said, raising their hands even though it was pointless in the dark.

Gale nodded.

"Let's get to work."

* * *

Johanna shone Gale's flashlight at a bat hanging in the corner of Prim's ceiling while Gale tightly gripped the nozzle of their Shark vacuum, Rory standing behind to hold the ridiculously strong machine steady as Prim waited anxiously on the sidelines, toy baseball bat in hand.

Aiming the vacuum hose, Gale stabbed at the bat, nearly dropping it in shock as the little thing was sucked away.

"My God, it_ worked!_ Quick! Into the rest of the rooms!" He called, Rory pushing frantically at the rolling vacuum to keep up with his older brother's retreating feet.

* * *

Nearly an hour later, the four of them headed outside to the driveway.

Removing the now very _full_ vacuum bag, Gale ran out to the edge of the driveway while the others watched on in suspense.

Setting it carefully down on the concrete, he tore the bag open and ran, ignoring the shrieks of horror from the others as they saw all of the bats they had collected flutter off into the night behind him in panic.

Resting his hands on his knees, Gale huffed.

"One down," They all looked forebodingly into the darkness of the house.

"Twenty-something to go."

* * *

Rory and Johanna headed into the spare bedroom equipped with their helmets and knee pads, armed with towels.

Turning on the light, they proceeded to snap their towels at the now flying bats, herding them out of the room and into the hallway.

"OW!" Rory yelled, turning just in time to see Johanna reel her towel back in from hitting him with it.

He glared angrily at her, but she only smirked and refocused her attention on the bats.

* * *

Gale stood at the end of the hallway with a stack of frisbees (which he had _borrowed_ from some of the neighbors, but this was an emergency; they'd understand) waiting anxiously for Johanna to reappear from the infested bathroom.

No more than a second later, she whirled around the corner and came running down the hallway, yelling in fright as at least twenty bats came flying after her.

Kicking into gear, Gale stepped aside to let Johanna pass as he threw frisbee after frisbee at the flying creatures, directing them away from the other rooms and out into the living area, where Prim sat ready and waiting with the double doors.

Sitting safely underneath a small reading table, Prim waited until all of the bats had flown through the doorway and outside before pulling hard on a pair of strings that she and Rory had attached to the doorknobs, successfully closing them.

Hooting in victory, the four of them jumped up and high-fived each other in congratulations.

There was only _one_ thing left to deal with now...


	11. Until We're Dead

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

* * *

11\. Until We're Dead

Gale and Prim stood outside the master bedroom, Johanna and Rory standing cautiously at the end of the hallway.

He knelt down to Prim's level. "Okay. Now, there's only _one_ bat left and it's in your sister's room. Now, this one's the _tricky_ bat, the one that's managed to elude_ all_ our other traps...what was it you named him?'

"Tricky," Prim timidly supplied.

Gale nodded, feeling dumb. "Right. Well, now we have a really _good_ trap, but someone needs to _lure_ Tricky into it. And that someone, is _you_."

"Why _me?_" She whined, eyes glistening in fright.

Gale squeezed her shoulders, trying to think of a legitimate reason other than they didn't want to do it. "Uh, because..._you_ have the nicest hair. You see, if it lands on your head, he'll just bite once and fly away. But if it lands on me or Johanna or _Rory's_ head, he'll get caught in our tangles and _bite_ us and_ bite_ us until we're_ dead...y_ou understand?"

"Yes..." Prim said, scared.

Gale nodded. "Good. Now I want you to _go_ in that room, and _poke_ him with this _stick_ until he chases you."

He handed her Rory's hockey stick, patting her shoulder reassuringly.

"Good luck."

He backed away to join the others, and little Prim hesitantly went into the room of horrors beyond.

* * *

She hesitantly entered Katniss and Gale's bedroom, peeking around the door to see Tricky hanging in the corner on the far end of the room.

Prim stepped inside, making sure to leave the door wide open, and cautiously got up on a stepping stool, stick in hand. She hesitantly pointed the stick at Tricky and slowly brought it close to the bat, stopping at the last second before it actually touched it.

Steeling herself, Prim clenched her eyes shut and looked away, gripping the hockey stick tightly before mercilessly jabbing Tricky with the wooden object.

Immediately, Tricky flew after her, and she screamed at the top of her lungs in fear as she dropped the stick and hopped off the stool, running like mad out of the room and down the hallway as the disgusting creature chased her.

* * *

When she reached the living room she hid behind the reading table she had used for cover before, causing the bat to lose sight (or rather, sonar) of her.

Panicking, Tricky reared back and tried to steer away and make a roundabout for the little girl, but it didn't get the chance.

Johanna suddenly appeared from around the corner as Gale and Rory shot up from behind the upturned couch, spray cans in their hands as they aimed them mercilessly at the animal.

"_Fire!_" Gale hollered, and they obeyed.

An endless stream of silly string engulfed Tricky, making it unable to move its wings with the confinement. Gaining too much weight to stay airborne, the bat fell to the ground with a light thud as they continued to cocoon it in string. Seeing that they had won, Prim came out from her hiding place and cheered with the rest of the group.

Gale put his arms around all of them. "Well I don't know about you guys, but _I_ am _seriously_ proud of us right now!"

They turned around and looked around them, smiles and laughs fading as they took in the mess they had made.

Lamps were knocked over, furniture was upturned, trash covered the floor, pictures hung lopsided on the walls, and food lay strewn across the floor.

Gale grimaced, sighing.

"Alright...somebody get the dust pan."


	12. Love You Not

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

* * *

12\. Love You Not

Katniss halfheartedly hit Peeta, trying to get him to wake up.

Cato and Marvel were still too preoccupied with opening the safe to notice her failure at getting the combination - they were currently taking a _crowbar_ to the thing - so she had to try her damnedest to cover her blunder.

"_Peeta!_" She whispered, lightly smacking his cheek. "Peeta, wake up!"

Deciding to go with her last option, she reeled her hand back and slapped him hard across the face, jolting him awake.

"...Katniss? What's going on? Are you alright?" He asked, dazed.

She resisted the urge to slap him all over again. "_No,_ Peeta, I am _not_ 'alright'! I'm sitting in the back of a convenience store at _gunpoint,_ and I wouldn't even still_ be_ here if _you'd_ stop being such an idiot and _give them the combination!_"

"I- I told you I can't do that-"

"Peeta, _please_. I'm _scared_. I want to go _home_ and be with my_ family_." She pleaded, letting tears prick at her eyes.

"...They never gave it to me."

Katniss looked at him, eyes widening in what she felt was anger coming on. "..._What?_"

Peeta looked down, ashamed. "They never told me the combination. They said they couldn't trust me with it..."

She looked at him, shocked.

"They gave it to the guy who runs the pizza place next door. He comes in at night and transfers the money." He admitted, defeated.

"...WHY didn't you just say that_ earlier?!_" She whisper-yelled, turning to be sure neither of the thieves heard.

"Well gee,_ I_ don't know! Maybe because I wasn't in such a big hurry to let everyone know what a pathetic _idiot_ I am!"

Katniss sighed, looking down at her hands and playing with her wedding ring. As much as she hated to say it, as much as she wanted to be mad at him, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"...Peeta, I am so sorry-"

"Katniss I love you."

Her eyes widened, her hands pausing in their movements.

"Uh...what?"

"Katniss, I love you with every fiber of my _being_._ You_ are my reason to get up every morning...you're my_ everything_."

"...Peeta..."

"Katniss, I'm sorry...And please believe me, I don't _want_ to feel this way. I know you're married, I know that you have a beautiful little sister...It's me. And I just...can't help loving you despite myself." He finished, and suddenly everything clicked.

It all made sense. The chipper attitude, the Starbucks invites, the lunch trades, the lingering stares, the 10% _discount_...

Katniss gazed at her fellow coworker, a sadness in her eyes. "Oh, Peeta...why'd you have to_ do_ that?"

She lifted a hand to his face and he smiled softly, tears springing up to her own face because of what she was about to do.

"I'm sorry, Peeta. For everything. I'm sorry for the way you _feel_, I'm sorry for...for _any_ indication I _ever_ gave you that I consider you _anything_ more than a friend...and I'm _really_ sorry for what I have to do _now_...because nowI have to _crush_ whatever it is that's in you that made you say what you just said."

Peeta's smile faded, but she continued. "I am going to _hurt_ you _very,_ _badly_. But believe me when I say this, Peeta; It's for your own good."

She cleared her throat and sat up straight.

"Number one," she began, holding up a finger. "No to everything, _everything_, that you just said. No to what you've thought, no to what you're thinking now, no to what you will think in the future. No to every fantasy, wish, dream, 'what if', and elaborate scenario that involves Gale's death or the two of us. _No!_"

Peeta's eyes widened, jumping at her sharp tone.

"Number two-" she grabbed hold of his arm and pinched the sensitive skin of his wrist hard between her fingernails.

"OW!" He exclaimed, wrenching his hand away and cradling it.

"_Remember that pain,_" she said firmly. "Every time a thought creeps up and you start to wonder if there's anything more to the 'hello!' I gave you in the morning," she illustrated her point by smiling and waving sweetly to the wall behind him. "_Remember_ that _pinch_. You have _no future_ with me. You have no _p__ast_ with me. You have no alternate _universe_ with me. You have _nothing_, with _me._"

Having finished her speech, Katniss stood up and, straightening her Hob vest, walked out of the room to join the other hostages, leaving Peeta scared and heartbroken.

* * *

Marvel laughed at him from the other end of the room, having seen everything. "Woah, Dough Boy, you got _owned!_"

He proceeded to laugh at Peeta, and as the Assistant Manager stared at him with humiliation and sadness, the heartbreak slowly turned to something else, something far more sinister.

Eyes darkening to a malicious glint, Peeta stood up and walked menacingly over to where Marvel stood, causing the young boy's eyes to widen as he stumbled backwards and into Cato.

"You_ want_ this?!" He yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the safe as the two backed into the hostage room, scared.

Enraged, Peeta placed his hands on either side of the television-sized cube and heaved it up over his head, aiming it at the terrified thieves.

"HERE'S YOUR STUPID SAFE!" He screamed, and threw it at them.

Cato and Marvel scrambled to get out of the way as the metal safe hurled towards them, shoving Katniss into the wall as they frantically backed away. The safe fell to the ground with a tremendous _clang!_, and the door fell open to reveal a thin stack of $50 bills.

Glancing briefly at each other, the duo rushed to it, relieving the pressure off of Katniss as she was suddenly able to breathe again, and swiped up the cash and ran off, heading back through the store and out the sliding doors.

Watching them leave, Katniss immediately went to Peeta's side, genuinely shocked. "_Peeta!?_ Are you _alright?!_"

"I don't know..." he said honestly, staring ahead into space as he stood with an awkward posture.

"I heard something rip, but...if it wasn't my pants it was inside of me."


	13. Someone Like You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

* * *

13\. Someone Like You

An hour later, police had arrived at The Hob and were taking statements from the witnesses.

Katniss was more than happy to give a physical description of the two delinquents (what kind of _idiot_ robs a store without a mask?) and many of the customers talked about Peeta as though he were a hero, which she supposed he was. Not everyone suddenly gained the courage to fend off two armed delinquents.

After being questioned about the robbery for nearly half an hour, Katniss was finally let go and allowed to return home.

As she walked by she overheard Clove praising Peeta and his heroic actions, and she smiled to herself as she headed out into the store. She was finally going home to join her family.

* * *

After passing one of the makeup aisles Katniss paused, hearing something over the store's intercom.

It was Peeta.

And he was singing.

_"I heard that you're settled down_

_And you found a boy and you're married now..."_

She cringed. This can't be good.

_"I heard that your dreams came true._

_Guess he gave you things I didn't give to you..."_

She ducked low and maneuvered around the aisles, avoiding the Help Counter where he was sure to be as she clutched her purse to her side.

_"Old friend, why are you so shy?_

_Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light._

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited_

_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it._

_I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded_

_That for me it isn't over..."_

She slowly peeked around the corner, spotting Peeta crying sadly but passionately into the microphone. Luckily he hadn't seen her yet.

_"Never mind, I'll find someone like you_

_I wish nothing but the best for you too"_

He suddenly burst into tears, and Katniss took that as her cue to leave. Ducking her head low, she turned around and walked away, deciding to take the back way out.

_"Don't forget me, I beg!_

_I remember you said,_

_Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,_

_Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead..."_

* * *

**A/N: The song referenced here was Someone Like You by Adele. **

**I wanted something funny yet heartfelt but I didn't want to use the same song they used in Malcolm In The Middle (mainly because I figured most people wouldn't recognize it).**


	14. Happy Anniversary

**Disclaimer: I do not own Malcolm In The Middle or The Hunger Games.**

* * *

14\. Happy Anniversary

Katniss walked tiredly into her and Gale's bedroom, finding him already fast asleep.

She wasn't surprised; it _was_ two in the morning, after all.

Slowly, she climbed beneath the covers, and her husband groggily awoke.

"_You_ sure worked late," he yawned, rolling over and stretching his arms out. "How'd your night go?"

She paused.

_Oh, nothing much. I just got robbed of every cent I made and crushed the heart of my coworker._

"..._Good_," she said finally, albeit awkwardly, laying down next to Gale. "...Yours?" She asked.

She was met with silence for the longest time before he replied, just as awkwardly as she, "..._Fine_..."

"Good," she said, nodding to herself.

Silence...

"Why is there an armoire in the living room?" She asked.

Gale turned his head to look up at her. "Happy Anniversary..." he said sleepily, smiling.

Smiling sweetly, Katniss reached over and took her husband's hand, both craning their necks so they could give each other a goodnight kiss.

Unfortunately, they were both so tired from their day that they fell asleep before their noses even touched, their hands still tightly clasped together, and they slept...

* * *

End~

* * *

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed. It was major fun writing this, the entire****_ idea_**** spawned from Peeta's character, lol XD**

**I would like everyone to know that I do not hate Peeta. I just wimped him out in this story for humorous purposes.**

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**Feel free to fave and review, or both, or neither, or nothing at all :D**

**'Til next time!**


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